We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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