im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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