Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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