we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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