he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
