She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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