They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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