Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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