Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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