I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
