I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
