coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
