some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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