So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
