Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
