I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
