So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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