All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
