You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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