you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
