Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
