Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
