this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
