Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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