if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
