super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
