We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
