Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
