just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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