holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
