So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
