Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
