Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
