rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
