thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
