you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
