im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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