Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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