just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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