Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
