I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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