well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
