Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
