Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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