so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
