I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
