Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
