What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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