I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Vodka?
Forever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
