is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
