capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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