I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
