im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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