To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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