Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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