it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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