Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
