Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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