I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
